What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What is your craziest college sex story?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I’m 17 and looking for a girl. What do I do?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What do you think about Matt Gatz as an attorney general?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Do handsome guys intimidate women or people in general?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

What does the Bible say about the Antichrist? How will we know when he arrives on the scene?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What was Easter day like for you as a child?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why is my ex trying to provoke an argument with me?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

TEXT:

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In what ways does Islam oppress women?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.